And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
I’M ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE PERSON IM JUST USED TO BEING WALKED ALL OVER AND DISRESPECTED SO SOMETIMES I COME OFF AS MEAN BUT I JUST CANT LET PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME AND I HAD TO GROW UP REALLY FAST OK BUT I PROMISE I HAVE A GOOD HEART AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND I DONT WANT TO EVER HURT PEOPLE’S FEELINGS BUT SOMETIMES I JSUT HAVE TO HAVE THE UPPER HAND AND MAKE SURE I DONT GET HURT IM SORR YI LOVE EVERYONE
SOMEBODY FUCKING SAID IT